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AMA about Finding Love and Being "Good" in the Meantime.

Charlotte E. Terrell
Feb 6, 2018

Ask Me Anything about waiting for, and then finding love. Answering the question about what to do while you wait and how to position yourself for the love of your life. You can be fulfilled until the right one comes into your life. And when he or she comes, there are ways to cultivate a loving relationship that lasts. There are tools to be happy with or without love. 

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Can you live without love or is it really necessary?

Feb 12, 12:02PM EST0

Are there any kind of signs that tell that someone might be the love of one's life?

Feb 12, 4:42AM EST0

Is true love an impossible fantasy to fulfill?

Feb 11, 4:18PM EST0

How can a person be good in many things in life without much effort? Is it possible?

Feb 9, 12:47PM EST0

Be who you are. I believe we all are innately good;  experiences and circumstances form how that goodness is manifested...OR NOT LOL. It shouldn't take much effort. 

Feb 10, 10:53AM EST0

How and where do depressed people find love?

Feb 9, 12:39PM EST0

Everywhere. Honestly, people are attracted to you based on what you put out there. Meaning you have express your desire, and be open to what comes, and love can happen. 

Feb 10, 10:48AM EST0

Why should one be always good to others when they play no role in other person's life?

Feb 9, 7:08AM EST0

To trreat others how you want to be treated is always the right thing to do but, when I say good, in my statement, I'm referring to being content until love comes into your life. 

Feb 9, 8:03AM EST0

Hi 

What did you mean by 'good'?

Feb 8, 8:51AM EST0

Satisfied/content

Feb 8, 11:08AM EST0

I hope you all are getting something out of these responses! I've got so much more I could add but, I can only type so much before I put you to sleep lol! But, follow me on Linkedin or Facebook! I'd love to connect. In the meantime. Live, Love, and Breathe!

Feb 7, 1:30PM EST0

Do you think there is any timeline to wait for the right person in your life?

Feb 7, 10:15AM EST0

No not really. It depends on you, and how long you're willing to wait. But, I would recommend that you stay open to receive the right person, when they come. Expect them and prepare yourself for them. They say that when you stop looking; the right person comes along. 

Feb 7, 10:58AM EST0

What would you advice someone who is not looking for a partner but at the same time do not socialize but consider himself/herself quite romantic? How will they ever meet someone when they do not socialize at all?

Feb 7, 9:42AM EST0

Do what you can to make yourself happy and well adjusted. When the time comes and you're open, as you busy yourself with doing what is fulfilling for you, perhaps you, and the person who is very similar to you,  will find each other, and you can share the romance and love you desire. 

Feb 7, 1:37PM EST0

Do you think there is any timeline to wait for the right person in your life?

Feb 7, 9:14AM EST0

That's a hard question. It all depends on how long you want to wait. Define for yourself who the "right person" is for you (as you evolve your needs/desires may change), what will the relationship look like? If that person doesn't come in the form you expected, are you open to what has come your way?  Lots of variables to consider but, most importantly, how long are you willing to wait. Two years, 5 years, 20 years? I think it's a good idea to always be open, thouugh

Feb 7, 10:40AM EST0

What would you advice someone who is not looking for a partner but at the same time do not socialize but consider himself/herself quite romantic? How will they ever meet someone when they do not socialize at all?

Feb 7, 8:43AM EST0

Wow, that's tough. If you don't socialize at all, what do you do for an outlet? What do you do to be fulfilled and what make you happy? You said you aren't looking for anyone but, if and when you do, perhaps you'll find that person who you can share romance with, who is very similar to you.  Busy yourself living the life you love, and, possibly,  then, love will find you.

Feb 7, 11:45AM EST1

People who understand the meaning of self-love are often blamed for being too selfish or self-obsessed. Why do think that's the case?

Feb 7, 8:37AM EST0

It's because we have been conditioned to believe that only what we do for others is important, and it's noble to be selfless. However, we've been in the plane when the announcement was made for us to put our OWN oxygen mask before we help others. The same applies in real life. You've got to be healed, whole, and complete before you can love or help someone else. To go even deeper, if you're a Believer, you may know the scripture that instructs us to "love our neighbor as ourselves". We can only deduce that even God, who is Love, intended for us to love ourselves!

Last edited @ Feb 7, 11:33AM EST.
Feb 7, 11:32AM EST0

You mentioned '"there are tools to be happy with or without love". Could you tell what are those tools?

Feb 7, 4:28AM EST0

It's always a good idea to do what you enjoy, and surround yourself with people who are invested in your well being, meaning they love you for you, and they add to your life, be it family members, friends, positive co-workers etc. Prayer and meditation, worship God (if you are into those type of things), exercise, music (singing, listening to, or attending concerts), feel good movies, art, the theater. Self care is important, maybe get a massage, sometimes. Help somebody else, and share your gifts with people in your immediate scope, and maybe beyond.  Being thankful and journaling; even doing a journal of what you're thankful for. Vent to your confidant, and release any frustration but, don't dwell there, let it out and move on. Visit your favorite places or vacation spots, if you can. Positive self affirmations are key, and challenging/ redirecting negative thoughts and feelings...sure they come but we can examine them, and determine where they came from. From there,  work on changing your focus to something that brings you joy, peace, and balance! Have fun! Relax! 

Feb 7, 1:25PM EST0

How do you know whos the one?

Feb 6, 9:08PM EST0

Time, the energy you share and how well they fit into your life, and how well you fit into theirs. You decide in your heart if this is someone you see yourself with now, and in the future, and you also determine if the undesirable parts of them are things you can live with because they, likely won't change. Then...you ask your heart, do you want to live with or without this person, and if the answer is WITH, go from there!

Feb 6, 9:13PM EST0

Welcome Everyone! Ask what you will and let's have some fun!

Feb 6, 9:01PM EST0

Looking so forward to this event! Thanks in advance for coming! Welcome!

Feb 6, 8:39PM EST0

Are you currently married or just in a steady relationship?

Feb 6, 10:50AM EST0

I am happily married!

Feb 6, 11:33AM EST0

Have you experienced having to dump someone? What was your reason and how did you break it down to a person?

Feb 6, 10:35AM EST0

Yes, I've broken up with people who were toxic and I explained our relationship was not healthy for either of us. 

Feb 6, 11:35AM EST0

How many relationships have you had in your life?

Feb 6, 9:38AM EST0

Honestly I couldn't tell you but about 3 serious ones

Feb 6, 11:33AM EST0

How long was the longest relationship that you've had and how were you able to maintain such longevity?

Feb 6, 7:50AM EST0

I've had about 3 serious relationships and that includes my current marriage (we're still newlyweds, I suppose LOL)  I couldn't even tell you the longest I've had but, longevity all ties back to mutual respect, love, commitment, trust, compromise, SACRIFICE, and for my husband and I, God!

Feb 6, 11:44AM EST0

Do you have children? If so, how much has your life as a mother influenced your views on love and relationship?

Feb 6, 1:15AM EST0

I don't have children of my own but, when children are in the picture, they are a major factor.  Children are so precious that, if I were a mother, I would proceed with caution, always considering their safety, thoughts, and feelings, if things get serious. 

Feb 6, 11:30AM EST0

When you were "waiting" for the right person to come to your life, did you actively search for that person by going out and meeting new people?

Feb 6, 1:11AM EST0

Yes, I did. I didn't go out in search of "him" but , I went out to be social and in a position to meet people. 

Feb 6, 11:20AM EST0

See you tomorrow, everyone! I'm soooo looking forward to it!

Feb 5, 11:13PM EST0

Are your views on love and relationship closely influenced by your religious or traditional beliefs?

Feb 5, 8:53PM EST0

Hummm, I hadn't thought about it that way but, I believe God is Love and our most important relationship is with Him. But it has nothing to do with religiosity it's more spirituality for me. My first relationship is with Him, all others stem from that. 

Feb 5, 11:12PM EST0

Have you experienced having to let go from a previous relationship? How did you handle it?

Feb 5, 11:01AM EST0

Yes I have. It hurts to let go but, when it hurts more to stay, you have to. You have to think of the fact that you are worth saving, and if you're giving more than you getting you should consider moving on.

Feb 5, 3:50PM EST0

How long was the longest time you had to wait for a relationship and how did you maintain your patience and hope during the waiting period?

Feb 5, 6:39AM EST0

I've waited for about 5 years...twice!!! I'm not sure I know what you mean by waiting on a relationship but, let me just say, if the feelings and energy you're exerting is not recipricated, consider moving on, life is too short!

Feb 5, 4:23PM EST0

Oh, prayer and hope helped me maintain patience but, again life is too short to wait. 

Feb 5, 4:26PM EST0

Have you experienced having to choose between two people in your life? How did you come up with a decision?

Feb 5, 4:06AM EST0

I may have had to chose between people before, and although I didn't want to hurt anybody, I ultimately chose who made me happy.  

Feb 5, 4:32PM EST0

Have you written a book or did other public engagements to share your wisdom about love and relationship?

Feb 4, 6:49PM EST0

I have not written a relationship book, nor have I spoken on relationships publicly but, I'd love to do so. 

Feb 5, 3:46PM EST0

Did you always have a serious take on relationships or was there a time when you were less serious?

Feb 4, 11:05AM EST0

I've aways felt relationships were important, and it's been my desire FOREVER, to help people with making their relationship work. 

Feb 5, 3:38PM EST0

Additionally, though, I've, personally, been in some less than serious relationships, and I've found the same feelings apply, either on one, or both sides, so why just go through the motions? 

Feb 5, 3:44PM EST0

What factors do you consider in determining if you yourself is willing to get into a serious relationship with the person you are with?

Feb 2, 5:33PM EST0

I consider where my head and heart are. Timing and readiness are key factors. 

Feb 3, 8:25AM EST0

Have you experienced having a deep regret on a particular decision that affected your relationship? How did you handle it?

Feb 2, 12:46PM EST0

Well... There have been instances where I could've made a decision to ACT differently, and I didn't. I grew from those situations but, unfortunately the relationship ended because of my bad behavior. A better relationship came along, though. 

Feb 2, 10:33PM EST0

What is your opinion on dating websites and dating service providers?

Feb 2, 8:25AM EST0

I don't have a problem with them! As with anything,  and just like you would in person, it's always good to use caution but, it's fun, and you can meet a lot of people online! I've done some online dating myself!

Feb 2, 10:55AM EST0

Have you experienced being cheated on by your loved one? How did you handle it?

Feb 2, 2:36AM EST0

Yes, I have, and I confronted him and left him. I'm not staying in a committed relationship with a non-committed person. 

Feb 2, 7:48AM EST0

Which romantic movies have moved you or have you related to the most?

Feb 1, 7:13PM EST0

I just love, love and I'm easily moved because of it lol. But, I would have to say Brown Sugar, Titanic, Forget Paris (I feel like my husband and I are in that movie right now! Ha!) Django, to name a few. I like stories where people are human (imperfect), and I am actually fond of the "male hero" saving the damsel. 

Feb 1, 9:13PM EST0

I see love even in movies that are not necessarily romance movies

Feb 1, 9:16PM EST0

How do you work out your relationship when faced with a clash of values and principles?

Feb 1, 3:23PM EST0

Learning about your significant other is key. We all have things in common, but because we have different backgrounds we have different values and we will disagree on certain things. If what you disagree on is something that you can deal with, perhaps you want to consider why your partner thinks or feels the way they do. You may still clash on things but at least try to get an understanding about your partner's perspective, and examine why you think and feel the way you do. From there, determine if you can reach a middle ground. At the end of the day, is this someone who you esteem highly enough to reach some kind of compromise? Can you agree to disagree? You'll find that sometimes, in relationships, not only do you have to compromise, but you also have to learn to sacrifice. The question is what are you willing to sacrifice?

Feb 1, 6:28PM EST0

Have you experienced having so much pressure from other people like friends or family in terms of making decisions on your relationship?

Feb 1, 2:24PM EST0

I have experienced this, but over time I've realized that the relationship is between the other person and I, and other people's thoughts and opinions have very little bearing on what happens with "us". If your decisions within the relationship negatively impact others, or they are stakeholders in your well-being,

(like you live with them, they pay your bills, you're making unwise/unhealthy decisions with your partner) then that's when other people have a say so.

Feb 1, 6:13PM EST0

Would you agree that a person's sexual virginity should be preserved until marriage?

Feb 1, 12:10PM EST0

It is a personal choice. Many people believe sex before marriage is necessary to determine sexual compatibility and if there is a physical connection. However, although it is not a popular route to take, and many call it unrealistic, I am a proponent of preserving your virginity for marriage if at all possible, for many reasons.

Feb 1, 6:20PM EST0

Do you engage in music and art as a means of expressing your feelings and thoughts on relationships?

Feb 1, 1:34AM EST0

Funny you would ask that! Yes! I believe music and art are great ways to express your thoughts and feelings. It is imperative to have an outlet. And you never know, you may meet someone special at an art/music event!

Feb 1, 7:23AM EST0
Do you agree to the idea of praying for the right person to come into your life or would you rather actively search for that person?
Feb 1, 12:47AM EST0

I definitely believe in praying for the right person. Also, believe that person is coming, and ask God, in your prayers, to position you to be found. Look cute, go places, and have fun, prepare your mind, body, and spirit for the right person, and be open.

Be encouraged!

Feb 1, 7:41AM EST0
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